Scratch The Paint

Scratch on the paint
Kicked in the ass
Battered and beaten
Bound for the trash

I’m not pathetic
And weak is not me
Just overwhelmed
And trying to be

There’s power in words
So wisely do choose
How you will speak them
Don’t just let them loose

The power to lift
And to destroy
A life in the balance
Not a cheap toy

Sick and broken
No longer new
Empty of love
Feels like we’re through

Contempt and disgust
Anger and hate
Can-this love be saved
Or is it too late

Will God have mercy
Or break His alter
Surely we’re humans
And-all humans falter

Or is it on us
To come to amend
That which has drifted
Straighten the bend

Do we have the strength
And power to make it
Or will we part ways
And-just have to break it

Tomorrow Will Be Better

The morning has not yet stirred
And here I am in my car
Excited, anxious, racing to work
How quickly will I make it today?

Longing to sit
To enjoy
To cherish
A slow morning
With the people I love

How did life get so complicated?
Why did I allow myself to be enslaved by work?
When will the disease go away?
Rest and tranquility are fantasy

Feelings of being handcuffed behind my back
Feelings of being stuck
In a loop
When will anxiety die?

Today is a difficult day
But tomorrow will be better
Today is a difficult day
But tomorrow will be better

If I Am Not For Myself

The life that was longs to return
Now lying, broken and dying
Crying

Frail and in pain,
Hope seems far.

Despair cries out,
But not a sound is uttered
How and when will it heal?

Alone in an ever increasingly hostile world,
Those who loved have gone.
For good?
Their love dimmed
Now only a flicker
Doubles the anguish and despair.
The solitude
The hopelessness

Weak and pathetic
Stings the soul
It’s a lie
Where to go from here?

I am the ever changing
And I will heal

I am powerful
And I will triumph

The love this life needs is its own

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?

When I See A Child Walk Outside

When I see a child walk outside,
It makes me feel real bad inside.

It reminds me when we used to play,
What would have been if I had stayed.

But now I see you less and less and only get to hear your voice,
I understand we have free will and I’d already made my choice.

What would have been cannot be thought,
And love is something that cannot be taught.

You should know I love you with all my heart,
Even though today we are apart.

And though it’s difficult for me,
And for you it may be hard to see,

This will turn out for the best,
I just hope I can stay strong through this test.

And I will wait until the day,
When we’re back together and can play

Tears of joy will fill my eyes,
And laughter will replace my cries.

And I can give you all my love
And you can know how much you’re loved.

Seven Blessings

Seven blessings came to Earth
and seven blessings brought joy
Seven blessings all filled with love
That no one could destroy

But came the poison, blackest death
And plotted to take them away
And cunning scheme did it progress
Playing its’ hand day after day

So one by one did end the blessings
One, then two, three, and four
Next was six, then withering five
And then seven was out the door

A painful chasm, dark deepest pit
Was bore straight into the heart
Seven chambers where once was love
Was now all broken apart

The heart continues on and lives
And loves and tries to learn
Awaiting and hoping and yearning yet
For seven blessings to return

Afflicted

Torn apart from the inside out
My soul a tattered mess
When will solace grant me peace?
When will my pain rest?

You’ve taken from me all I have
and all I have to give
You’ve left me here a complete wreck
with little reason to live

But strive on through all the pain
I must endure it all
Forbidden from granting you delight
You will not see me fall

Your barbs may pierce my mortal flesh
You may tear me limb from limb
My heart may be thrashed and torn apart
Things for me may be looking grim

I must strive on to see the light
Happiness can be in reach
If only I could find just one true love
To heal me she can teach

To heal my soul and rise above
All the pain of my distress
I need a love to call my own
A want I desire to profess

To love and need and care for me
To show me the true way
And I will double it back to her
Each and every day

So search I must for this true love
The cure to your vile hate
And rise above all the afflictions
I search for my true mate

If I Could Tell You My Story

If I could tell you my story
Would you give me ear?
Can you suffer details so gory
Would you shed a tear?

Will you remember the faces
Of those you do not know?
From all walks of life, places
Who carry burden of woe.

Did you hear the cries in the town square
Where they gathered my kin?
Do you cringe at the thought, too much to bear
Does it crawl under your skin?

Did you see the large ditch we dug in the forest?
In a row we were lined.
It did not matter who was richest or poorest.
Did you pay mind?

Did you hear about the showers we were to take
After traveling so long?
Did you hear about ovens, but there was nothing to bake?
Something seemed wrong.

The order was given, the gallows was sprung.
The bodies went swaying.
Their Necks snapped, no air reached their lung.
Survivors were praying.

The order was given, the trigger was pulled.
The bodies went falling.
A mass grave was writhing, filling with blood
From the dead and dying.

The order was given, the nozzle was turned.
The bodies went laying.
An oven awaiting, they were to be burned.
A colored world graying.

If I could tell you my story would you remember me?
Would you give me ear or ignore?
Could you suffer details too gory to see?
Please shed a tear, I implore.

In memory of the six million plus Jews who were brutally and ruthlessly murdered in the Holocaust,
to my grandparents (may they rest in peace) who were the survivors and taught us never to forget,
to my generation who carry the burden of witnessing the last of the survivors to pass away,
and to my children who must learn and retell what they are taught so that it will never happen again.

Shortness of Breath

In between and out again
Stuck in a black hole of despair
When will the light shine towards me
When will life be fair

Pulled apart and scattered is my soul
Drowned and trodden under foot
I gasp for air but cannot breathe
I try to move by I stay put

Heavy weights of suffering
Crush the life I try to live
Doors close, a blackness falls
Happiness elusive like water in a sieve

My time a limited algorithm
Wasted and torn from me with every sigh
My heart implodes with every beat
My facade crumbles an internal cry

I dream and hope
I hope and dream
to finally break free
instead I scream

The Battle

Like a polluted, poisonous river,
Your lies pour from your tongue.
The words that sting, infect, and kill,
Care not who they wrong.

Those too young to comprehend,
Infected by your deep filled hate.
Twist their minds, confuse their souls,
Your bloodlust never to sate.

At my vulnerable soul you chisel away,
To break me is your devious goal.
But my strength emboldened by every attempt,
Determination mine, to walk away whole.

I die a torturous death with every strike,
by your minion’s repetitive attack.
But like the Pheonix I rise from the ashes,
Stronger, angrier, more determined to come back.

Like a soldier I battle on.
Like a soldier I will be strong.
Come attack me with all your might.
You’ve convinced yourself only you are right.
The time has come for you to taste my pain.
It will leave you screaming trapped in your brain.
Brace yourself and watch your back,
For here I come with my counterattack.

Elusive Slumber

Eyes, baggy, heavy,
Fatigue.
Foot, tapping, music,
Caffeine.
Conscious, yet gone.
Oh, so gone.
Sleep so far away.

When will the night be my friend again?
When will sleep wholely embrace me?
Sparks flash before my eyes.
Pain consumes my brain.
Push on. Push on.
Push to break free.
Free from the alluring undercurrent of black nothingness.